You’ve heard it before: Be yourself. Stay true to who you are. Sounds simple. But here’s the problem – what if the version of “yourself” you believe in… isn’t actually you? Are you being authentic – or just playing it safe? What if your so-called authenticity is really just fear in disguise?
The Moment She Realized She Was Holding Herself Back
One of my clients, a brilliant woman with big career ambitions, had her eye on a leadership role.
The position would open in a few years, but she wanted it sooner. So we made a plan. Who to talk to. How to make her vision clear. How to position herself for success.
But then – one name came up. A key decision-maker. Someone who could accelerate her promotion.
And she refused.
“I won’t talk to him. I work with him professionally, but that’s as far as it goes. . I will NOT involve him.”
I didn’t push. We moved forward without him.
She felt relieved. She thought she was staying true to herself.
Three Months Later, Everything Changed
During a work dinner, she found herself sitting next to the same colleague she once refused to engage with.
But instead of discomfort, something strange happened.
They talked. Casually. No tension. At some point, he even mentioned how much better their professional relationship had become.
And she agreed.
She didn’t just nod politely. She owned it.
“Yes, I noticed that too. But it’s not because of you – it’s because of me. I made the effort.”
Just three months earlier, she wouldn’t even write his name down in a strategy session.
Now, she was taking credit for improving their dynamic.
That’s real authenticity. Not avoiding discomfort. Not hiding behind personal grudges. But standing in your own power—without fear.
Why Fear Disguises Itself as Authenticity
She thought she was being ‘true to herself’ by avoiding him.
But real authenticity isn’t about doing what feels comfortable. It’s about knowing why you do what you do.
Ask yourself:
- Am I truly being myself, or just protecting myself?
- Does this decision serve my vision—or my fear?
- Am I choosing comfort over growth?
Authenticity Comes From Self-Worth
The strongest women I know don’t just position themselves well.
They admire themselves. They see their own value – not from ego, but from deep self-respect.
And when you truly value yourself:
- You don’t second-guess how others will react.
- You don’t shrink in fear of judgment.
- You don’t let past resentment dictate your future.
Because you know your vision is bigger than your discomfort.
Your Leadership Starts Now
Success isn’t about playing small. It’s about owning your space, your words, and your impact.
Are you being authentic – or just playing it safe?
Ask yourself:
👉 Where have I mistaken fear for authenticity?
👉 Where am I choosing comfort over real leadership?