It’s easy to complain. We do it without thinking. The workload is too much, the meetings are pointless, the opportunities always seem to go to someone else. But here’s the truth: complaining keeps you stuck. Stop complaining, start leading.
The more you focus on what’s wrong, the less energy you have to change it. You’re walking in circles, convincing yourself that you have no control. But what if that’s not true?
I used to be a complainer too. And looking back, I see how much leadership I left on the table. I thought I was venting. In reality, I was giving away my power.
The Roundabout of Complaints: Are You Stuck?
Imagine walking on a roundabout. You’re circling endlessly, feet aching, yet never taking an exit. Every lap, you complain about how tired you are. The people around you nod in sympathy. They tell you that you work so hard, that you deserve better. And then? You keep walking.
This is what complaining does. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress when you’re just going in circles.
Leadership is about stepping off that roundabout. It’s about making the choice to do something different.
A Case Study: When Complaining Wasn’t Enough
One of my clients, a senior leader in a complex organization, was drowning in frustration. Her team was chaotic, leadership was unsupportive, and every day felt like a battle.
She told me everything that was wrong. I listened. And then I asked, “What’s your question?” Silence. She didn’t have one.
She had been so focused on what wasn’t working that she hadn’t stopped to consider what she actually wanted.
So we flipped the script. We shifted the focus from what’s broken to what’s possible. Within weeks, she had a plan. She stopped walking in circles and started moving forward.
The 7-Day No Complaining Challenge
If you’re ready to take back control, here’s your challenge:
Go seven days without complaining. Every time you catch yourself about to vent, stop. Reframe. Ask yourself, What can I do about this?
- If you’re stuck in a frustrating meeting… Instead of complaining later, ask yourself: What’s my desired outcome? How can I influence this?
- If a colleague undermines your work… Instead of ranting, decide: What boundary do I need to set?
- If you feel unseen or undervalued… Instead of resenting it, ask: Where can I position myself more clearly?
Your mindset will shift. Your energy will change. And that’s when real leadership begins.
Final Thought: Stop Complaining, Start Leading
Success isn’t about waiting for someone else to fix things. It’s about stepping up. Taking action. Choosing growth over frustration.
So ask yourself:
Am I stuck in a cycle of complaints, or am I making moves? What’s one thing I can take control of today?