Why do we sabotage ourselves? Sometimes, we want something so badly that we unconsciously work against it. We sabotage our own success. Stop self-sabotage: Recognize it and take back control.
I saw this happen during a recent live training day. A participant shared how she had stayed silent in an important meeting. Not because she had no opinion, but because she wanted to maintain harmony.
The result? Months later, it turned out that the decision made in that meeting had been the wrong one. And it still bothered her. Why? Because the very reason she had held back – keeping the peace – was also the reason she regretted not speaking up.
Self-Sabotage Is Unconscious – Until You See It
This participant only realized later how she had blocked her own success. By avoiding conflict, she had created a bigger problem. That insight changed everything.
So, what can you do if you recognize this pattern in yourself?
1. Become Aware of Your Patterns
Self-sabotage is sneaky. You think you’re making the right choice, but if you feel frustrated afterward, it’s time to ask yourself why.
2. Ask Yourself a Different Question
Instead of thinking, “Why isn’t this working?”, ask: “What are my other options?”
This simple shift opens your mind and helps you find new solutions.
3. Make a Decision and Trust Yourself
You don’t need to know how you’ll do things differently right away. The key is deciding that you want to do it differently. Once you make that decision, you’ll naturally start finding better ways forward.
Self-Sabotage Ends Here
We all sabotage ourselves sometimes. The difference between staying stuck and moving forward? Awareness. Once you recognize your patterns, you have a choice.
And that choice? It changes everything.
Do you recognize ways you sabotage yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Watch or listen to the full podcast episode:
Your biggest cheerleader,
– Susan Veldkamp